Movie Nostalgia on UK TV this weekend

Movie Nostalgia: Remember when weekends were for sitting in front of the TV watching films from years gone by. Before we had a gazillion channels to choose from and you had to decide if you wanted to watch the black and white western on Ch4 or the Bollywood movie on Five. Good times.

I would spend a large portion of my weekends watching everything from Sinbad to Aliens (Saturday night premiers), Columbo to A Clockwork Orange. Of course, the rest of the weekend was spent walking dogs, playing in the wigwam (the younger years), reading, or trying to write my own western (I still have it somewhere -it’s not terrible).

So I figured, I’d take a look and see what movies would be on this weekend -a touch of nostalgia or something I’d never seen before. But, don’t worry, they’re not all black and white westerns. There are some more modern offerings on freeview channels this weekend.

Movie Nostalgia on Saturday

  • Nude Nuns with Big Guns (2010) -Horror Channel at 00.55 if you’re getting an early start on the movie watching or just got in from Friday night festivities. A drugged, abused, and brainwashed nun receives a vision of revenge. She loads up and hunts down her torturers.
  • Monsters: Dark Continent (2015) -Ch4 at 1 am if you don’t fancy nuns with guns, you could check out this creature feature.
  • Green Room (2015) – Film4 at 1:45 am. A punk band witness a murder in a neo-nazi bar and battle to stay alive. It’s that Patrick Stewart one you didn’t watch yet.
  • Black Sheep (2016) – Horror Channel at 2:45 am. So…there’s this New Zealand ranch, where an experiment goes wrong and turns a flock of sheep into blood-hungry killers. Human blood. And if you’re bitten, well, you become a weresheep!
  • Phantom from Space (1953) – Talking Pictures TV at 6am. A radioactive alien crash lands in Los Angeles.
  • Wagon Master (1950) -movies4men at 7:45 am. Two cowboys join a wagon train heading west and encounter a murderous gang on the run.
  • The Texas Rangers (1951) -movies4men 9:30 am. Western.
  • Relentless (1948) -movies4men 11:10 am. Western.
  • If You Meet Sartana…Pray For Your Death (1968) -movies4men at 1:05 pm. An intriguing sounding title, after a stagecoach is robbed the legendary Sartana has to track down the missing money and figure out who is behind the robbery and murders.
  • The Philadelphia Experiment (2012) -Horror Channel at 3 pm. Sci-fi mystery.
  • The Westerner (1940) -movies4men -I feel like I need to take offence at the name of this channel, I better not have to prove that I’m a man before I can watch them because I’m not sure that’s something I can fake- at 3pm
  • Hocus Pocus -ITV at 3:20 pm. That witchy one, it’s good for the kids and fun for the adults.
  • Let Her Out (2016) -Horror Channel at 9 pm. A body invasion horror.
  • Die Hard 4.0 (2007) -Ch4 9 pm. John Maclain is back and takes on a group of terrorists.
  • Twilight (2008) [sorry] -5* at 9 pm. The one with the sparkly vampires.
  • Pulp Fiction (1994) -Dave at 10 pm. God, I feel so old! If this one needs describing to you I can only assume you’ve been under a rock for the last 25 $%@#¬£^? years. Its made by the same guy that made that Once Upon A Time in Hollywood movie everyone keeps telling you about.
  • Total Recall (1990) -ITV1 at 10:30 pm. It’s that one with Arnie where he plays a construction worker who discovers a memory chip in his brain. And obviously, he goes to Mars to figure it all out.
  • Martyrs (2015) – Horror Channel at 10:45 pm. A gory thriller where two women track down the people responsible for torturing them as kids. Probably seemed like a good idea at the time.
  • If you’re wondering if I’m drunk at this point in the movie nostalgia list for the weekend, you should know that I’m not. It’s Friday -early afternoon- and I’m just doing my best to make this list of possible watchimeroos interesting.
  • Tremors (1989) -ITV4 11 pm. This was definitely a stay up for the movie on some channel or other late one Saturday night -totally loved it, rewatched it god knows how many times. Kevin Bacon! That one with the big wormy things underground and the straw cowboy hat.
  • Bullet to the Head (2012) -Film4 11:20 pm. Enjoyed this one more than I expected to.
  • Victor Frankenstein (2015 -the one with Harry Potter in) –Channel 4 at 11:40 pm.
horror films, movie nostalgia

Movie on Sunday

  • Amityville II: The Possession (1982) -Horror Channel at half-past midnight.
  • De@th on Live (2013) -movies4men at 12:45 am. A soldier discovers his brother’s death was not the accident originally reported.
  • Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015) -Film4 1:05 am. When an imaginary friend turns out to be more real than you’d like.
  • Severance (2006) -Horror Channel at 2:35 am. Team building retreats can be important for people who work together to help build those bonds and camaraderie. But for this group of weapons salespeople, the tables are turned when their wares are turned against them.
  • Columbo: Forgotten Lady (1975) -Five USA at 9:10 am. What I used to do is, go to the kitchen as the film started to grab snacks and a drink and head to the living room when the crime had been committed, so I could attempt to figure it out with Columbo. There’s another Columbo movie (1997) on at 11:15 am as well. And another (1974) at 1:15 pm. And (1976) at 3:20 pm. Then at 4:55 pm, good day for Columbo (1974) movies. Also (2000) on at 9 pm. This is like an entire day of movie nostalgia, wouldn’t even need to change the channel.
  • Sitting Bull (1954) -5Spike at 12:25 pm. A historical western about a defiant cavalry major.
  • The Train Robbers (1973) -ITV4 at 12:55 pm. I probably wouldn’t have watched this one if there was anything else on, never was much of a John Wayne fan.
  • Sherlock Holmes (2010) -Horror Channel at 3 pm. If Columbo wasn’t on then you could guarantee there’d be a Sherlock Holmes film.
  • The Core (2002) -E4 at 3:25 pm. When the earth stops rotating – it’s got Hilary Swank in.
  • Tall in the Saddle (1944) -movies4men at 4:40 pm. Another one of them John Wayne Movies. I’m not saying I want a movies4women channel, because you know it would be filled with Bridgit Jones and Marley and Me and they’re totally not my thing, I’m just saying there is no need to perpetuate the divide.
  • Quantum of Solace (2008) -ITV2 at 8 pm. Nothing wrong with a James Bond movie on the weekend.
  • Offensive (2016) -Horror Channel at 9 pm. A tense horror about an English couple buying a house in France. I think they turned it into a TV series where the couple wants a garden but not a tiny garden, and want it near the sea but away from tourists, and she runs a homemade shell business and he’s into climbing but they’ve got half a mill to spend and a doggo to please.
  • Deadpool (2016) -Film4 at 9 pm. Okay, I know you’ve probably seen this one. But it’s good and available for watching if you can’t find anything else to take your fancy. He’d like to take your fancy.
  • A Good Day to Die Hard (2013) -Channel 4 at 10 pm. If you’re still awake and don’t have to be at work tomorrow. You might be one of the lucky ones, on holiday with the kids, kicking back, relaxing, breaking up fights. You are John McClaine, you are the John McClaine of your family right now.
  • The Belko Experiment (2016) -Film4 11:10 pm. Luckily, I’ve already watched this one for you.
  • Once Upon A Time In Mexico (2003) – 5Spike at 11:10 pm. It’s good, it’s a good film but it’s not Desperado. One of the best bits of Desperado was Tarantino’s joke in the bar, you remember that joke? It’s not so funny for a girl to tell it, trust me.

See what I mean?

Anyways, grab your noisy, argumentative, fixated on the latest game, bored kids, turn off all those electronic gadgets, grab a mountain of snacks and soda, and put on the good old fashioned TV movie nostalgia. They’re either gonna enjoy it or by the time they go back to the mayhem they were causing before you’re not gonna care anymore. Because now they’re full and a tad slow from that weekend movie watching vibe, and you might just have time to finish off the remaining snacks and watch one of the better movies before you have to wrangle them for bed.

What are your movie nostalgia memories? Favourite oldy? Star that you miss?