Franken-Igor is Indispensable: Horror Art
You may have noticed me mention Igor a few times, particularly on twitter, and I thought it was time to properly introduce you to him with Mat Sadler’s amazing rendition in this horror art.
He does everything from opening the mail to dusting the brain jar, and with his crazy strength he can lift a horse – you know, if I ever needed a horse lifting.
His job is usually most of the chores I don’t want to do or don’t have time for. He sifts the mail to make sure I get the important ones from genuine people. He keeps my diary and takes care of the cobwebs.
He’s not just an Igor though, he’s a Franken-Igor, which means he doesn’t just do the labour and clever things he also acts as a rather scary bodyguard.
He also complains about the location a lot. It’s not cold or damp enough, the moss doesn’t grow on the right side of the trees, having a dungeon under a regular house just isn’t that spooky, why can he never find clothes that fit right, why must people always scream and run away when he’s out walking the dog.
Why can’t people see he’s just regular human parts?
His favourite food is spaghetti and he giggles when he slurps it. Christmas is his favourite time of year because he can dress up as Santa and people come near him and tell him what they want. I mean they didn’t know santa was so tall but still it’s Santa, right?
He also loves slipper socks.
I realise Igors are usually the lackeys of Vampires and crazy inventor types but he turned up at my door one night (yes it was cold and dreary and blowing a gale) with a weather ravaged note.
The note read
Your Franken-Igor. Please sign to accept delivery.
No explanation, just dripped his way across the hall carpet and made his way down to the dungeon. With me trailing behind, damp note in hand.
I turned the note over
Franken-Igor Self Delivery Service
Well I should have seen that coming. No return option, no phone number to ring to query the delivery, no website address.
I asked him about it and he told me ‘I am your designated Franken-Igor, you don’t need to do anything. Set up will take care of itself and upgrades will happen automatically.’
He’s been here about three years now. I receive a copy of the Igor times in the mail once a quarter but rarely get a look in. There are coupons in the back.
I thought it was time to get his portrait done (no there wasn’t a coupon), he’d been bugging me for ages, he spruced up and I let him choose the nature of it. He went all traditional on me. Told me it’s what his Mum would have wanted – which I try not to think about. We’re sending her a copy to put on her kitchen wall.
Should you want your horror art minion/robot/igor/other-self done you can hunt down Mat Sadler at www.matsadler.com
And should you want to add to Igor’s emails you can click the Contact Kate button on the right and send either of us a message. We love hearing from you guys.
Horror and Fantasy Author – Also writing as K.T. McQueen. Love Western Horror, cowboy boots, my cactus Collin, & my Demon Cat.
Moths – I hate moths, the way they flutter at your face!